hi baby!

i don't want to dwell on the negative today, its always there and always will be, i want to recap the memory i have of you when you gave birth to your son aayden.  i remember that day like it was yesterday.  I also got fired that day from mid america, remember??  hahahhaha, we always have some kind of stress around!  anyways, i remember the labor pain you were in and you were such a strong young lady, you only cussed ONE TIME, JUST ONCE!!! i was so worried that you were going to have the mouth of a sailor...lolololol. and you apologized for that one cuss word! (where was my lizzie at that time?) LMAO!! You did such an awesome job thru all the birthing process and delivered the most amazing boy ever! you suddenly became this young momma and totally did an amazing job with aayden, the short time you were here with him.  I became a grandma, it was so overwhelming, so many emotions being flooded thru my mind.  All of a sudden there was MY BABY HAVING HER BABY!!! its a wierd feeling, kind of a sad feeling too (just for a short time) cuz i knew that my baby was going to leave me and grow into a mommy who wouldn't need her mommy that much anymore. (hope that makes sense), but you know what? you didn't stop needing me, for that i was thankful for, i always loved when my baby needed me, i used to act like i was aggrevated, but you always knew that i loved it, cuz you would say, you know you love it mom! and i would put a smirky smile on my face! and then you would kiss me and hug me and tell me how much you loved me!  I miss all that! i will never forget the 20 years i got to spend with you.  They were lizzie's 20 fabulous years.  They were our time together in this life and i can't wait till i can spend eternity with you, when its my time and i know that you will be waiting for me with open arms and it will be wonderful and we can be together again! i love you my angel, i love you with all that i have to give.xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxxoo

It's the 13th and it was raining this morning. I miss you cuddin we all do . I'm so sorry that you had to go so soon. It's not fair at all. I love you. See you soon. 

hi angel baby sweetie pie, hahaha, here it is another 13th of the month, only to be reminded of that horrible day you were taken from us, 8 months ago, its unreal, am i having nightmares and haven't woken up yet? i miss my old life. i miss the shopping , i miss the cuddling, i miss your heel clunking on my hard wood floors, i miss your bedroom, your voice, your humor, you driving your car, the way you smell, getting ready to go out with the girls, our days of  being mom and daughter, our fights, our makeing up, the phone calls, (at least a thousand per day) at work and my cell, when you came to visit me at work, our trips, the thing i miss the most though is watching you become a young woman and mommy to aayden.  you were such on your way , well on your way, now we have your brown skinned boy with the curly dark hair with a patch of blonde and i thank you every day for him, thank you thank you thank you, b/c he does make this just a tad easier, b/c he is you. sunday is fathers day, please make sure that you let your dad and eddie know that you are there with them, they are having a hard time too. i love and miss u more than anybody could ever know. i love being in buffalo knowing that my family is close by to me, but i hate that you are not here with us :(

i love you baby, come and see me soon, i know that you are there thru aayden, but i want MY LIZZIE, MY BABY.