hey there my lizzie babe!! 

i look at all the pics of you and i was just laughing to myself how you like'd to pose for the camera!!  you were a natural talent. and i truly mean that:) remember  how ed and i used to tell you that you should join the drama club in high school? and that you persured your career as a musician taking guitar?  hahahahha. you were sooooo funny, but you know what? at least you tried.  your death has just taken so  much out of me, i will never be the same, but i have to start getting some kind of structure back into my life.  its really hard, but i know that you will be there to guide me.  that's such a switch, i am supposed to be guiding you! i have so many things to reminicse about. and as each thought comes across my mind, i will post them on here.  remember your sweet sixteen birthday and the limo!!!  you had sooooo much fun, you were so surprised and we are so glad to have done that for you.  remember our trips?  myrtle beach?  how fun!  remember the hotel room?  we thought we were hotshots?  and we only had one major fight during that whole trip. remember hurricaine charlie was headed our way and we had to evacuate to BFE?  hehhhehehh it was on my birthday!  i will never forget the trip to ATL and all of our STL trips, esp the last trip we took to STL.  I am so glad that we all got to go to that and have a really really good time.  you were showing all those girls on the dance floor who the real deal was!!  lolololololol  you just cracked me up.  remember our trip to denver?  i always told you that if eminem ever came to concert , we were there????!!!  we saw all of them, and of course at that time, t hey were all your favs.  you knew every lyric to lil jon's songs!!  i remember like it was yesterday, and i think we only had one major battle during that trip too, maybe 2, who knows.  you and i could battle!!  but we always made up.  i hated fighting with you, made me so sad and mad all in one.  but we always made up. that's whats important. i miss you so bad. you know that.  i need your warmth wrapped around me sweetheart. i love you!

your "mommy"

My Dearest Lizzie,

It will soon be 2 months since the sad tragedy of you death, my dear daughter.  The trauma of your death has paralyzed my life. I now functioned mentally, emotionally and physically on a minimal level.  I have wrestled, plead and questioned God to the point of doubting my own faith as to why this had to happen. I would have gladly taken your place in the car that day if I could have. I have cried and mourned for you from the deepest depths of my soul.  I did not know that I could suffer such loss as I have for you. I miss your smiling mischievous presence every moment of the day. I sit alone in the dark and cry as I think about how much was taken from me by your death. I have loved you as my daughter almost from the first time I met you. There is a place in my heart that will always be filled with you and it will always be sad that we had such a short time together. I would not give up a second of the time I did have with even to make all this pain and sorrow go away. Thank you for sharing your short life with me. Trying to be a substitute dad is a hard thing to do.  I did the best I could. I hope that you knew that the battles we fought were always because I loved you and wanted to see you achieve the great potential you possessed. I tried to give you the best I had to offer, and I know that I feel short at times, but my intentions were always to try to help you. I wish I had hugged you more and told you more how much you meant to me. I hope you knew. I will never forget you nor stop loving you. You will always be with me in my heart. You have entrusted me with your most precious possession, you son Aayden. Thank you for leaving such a wonderful part of you for me to love and help raise into the great young man you wanted him to become. I promised you that I would always be a part of his life. I could not have foreseen that I would be asked to fulfill that promise without you here to help me. Rest assured, Lizzie, that I will always be there for Aayden and help him as you would have to grow strong and proud into a good man. I will always make sure that he knows you. I will tell him what a wonderful mom you were. I will make sure that he knows that you loved him as much as a mother could love her son. I will tell him that you died as you were striving to get and education that would allow you to give him the exceptional life you wanted him to have. I will tell him the wonderful person you were. I will tell him of all the crazy exploits you were the leader of.  We will always smile and laugh and think of you kindly as we talk.  He will know you were a talented, exceptional young woman that I was proud to love as my daughter. Aayden will always be proud you were his mother. I know that you loved your mom and she loved you as much as a mother and daughter can. I will not ever attempt to talk about the depth of her loss. I will promise you that I will help her and love her as much as humanly possible to weather this storm. She is strong like you and will find her way. I will always give her a shoulder to lean on as I have leaned on her so many times before.

Lixxie, I am going to pick up the pieces of my life starting today. I will not love you any less. I will not mourn you less. I will not forget you. I will occasionally cry and be sad for the deep loss of someone as special as you. I will be strong from this point for my own sake, your sake, your mom’s sake and Aayden sake. I am going to smile again. I am going to trust God that he knows what He is doing.  I am going to go be the husband that you mom deserves and the Grandfather the Aayden deserves. I do know this will be hard and I will slip from time to time. You watch over us from your place of beauty and happiness. I will watch over those you left behind.  Rest in peace my dear daughter.

Hi Lizzie

You have been on my mind all day today.  I feel so sad that you are gone but I always smile when I think about all the times we had together.  You came into my life when you were still a little girl and I watched you grow into a wonderful young woman and mother.  Along that journey I fell in love with you and you became my daughter. Thank you for allowing me to share your short life with you.  Thank you for giving me a wonderful grandson. I promised you that I would always be there for him and with great joy I will keep that promise to you.  He reminds me more of you every day. I will love him for you all my life.  I miss you. Big "B"

Hey suga duga!! So I was looking in the mirror, and we have these Christmas lights on our entertainment center,,,,,, I was making my eyebrows pretty, and of course they play One Republic....... I think about you all the time my love, how could I not? I wanted so bad to call you, and have you come over and perform a crash video shoot! But I could not. I stared at your pic the whole time the song was on. The piano used to be so pretty in that song. Now its so sad. The world (our world) is so different now, I cant explain it babe. The sky is always dark, the wind a little bit more chilly, and people... their attitudes are discusting. I am in need of you. Im sure your seeing all these things my love, help me. I just miss you. Its hard. Your mommy is doing better, but I never thought you could really see someones heart break, I guess you can. I love you.

Aaron